A malnourished "pffft" sounds escapes as I flip through the cardboard box of 12" inch vinyl. Best of Vanilla Ice, Red Velvet, The Sound of Riott Grrrl, etc., etc. You see, I collect vinyl rarities. Not rarity as in '+$100;' but 'rarity' as in "mid-70's abortions." My apartment is stacked with these. My favorite is probably Devil Got My Woman: A Brass Tribute to Skip James. Nobody knew how to play their instruments so it makes me feel better about the trumpet case under my bed that's collecting dust. None of these albums are particularly thrilling, but that all changes when I find the Holy Grail of the lot: The Old Testament - As Narrated by Winston Churchill. The Old Testament amuses me beyond the fact that it's profoundly fucked up; it's the response it gets from Christians.
"The Old Testament is in the Bible for a reason!" cries the defenders.
"It's totally irrelevant!" retorts the critics.
The reaction is not unlike two overweight Metal Gear fans arguing over whether Snake's Revenge is canon or not. It's obvious that Snake's Revenge was just a poor effort to boost sales in America, and the real sequel to Metal Gear is a Japanese exclusive.
Uh, so I've heard.
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